A Conversation about Affirmations

A hibiscus flower (Rose of Sharon) - a traditional symbol of resilience.

I really love affirmations - that is, short little bits of wisdom that you can say to yourself for empowerment.  Oftentimes, they're super simple and you do them without thinking just to psych yourself up: "I can do this." "Come on, you've got this." A really popular practice among tarot and divination writers is to attach an affirmation to each card that is associated with that card's interpretation in some way.  For example, in today's daily divination, one card is the Page of Swords - normally associated with insatiable curiosity and observation.  For an affirmation, I wrote, "I begin to search for answers even if I don't yet completely understand the question."

What I'm really not a fan of, however, is the way so many tarot writers rely on schmaltzy, saccharine, pop-psychology-style affirmations (many of them probably written by ChatGPT or whatever) like "I am a beacon of crystal-clear truth" or "Everything is working out for my highest good."  I really hate that.  They're thought-terminating clichés that leave the querent with nothing to do except hope that the universe hands them whatever the gooey affirmation is promising (spoiler: that pretty much never happens).  The whole purpose of spirituality is self-empowerment, and there's nothing empowering about that.

To be clear, I am a dedicated believer in the power of positive self-talk - yes, even if it sometimes ventures into the realm of "fake it 'til you make it."  But repeating some cloying mush phrase like "the universe aligns itself to my wishes" when you can clearly see that the world is falling apart around you isn't positive self-talk - it's toxic positivity.  Worse than that, it is being dishonest with yourself.  Those kind of affirmations take away your intellectual and emotional agency, which is the exact opposite of empowerment.  It might make you feel better in the moment, but there's a steeply diminishing return on its effectiveness, because you're not stupid - you know when things aren't right, and lying to yourself doesn't miraculously make them right.

To empower yourself, you have to be honest with yourself.  I'm not saying you should wallow in your despair (because that's just as unhelpful as toxic positivity), but you have to let yourself feel how you feel.  The idea behind affirmations is not "I'm going to tell myself I feel great when I actually feel miserable."  The idea is actually "I'm giving myself permission to deal with these feelings."  And that applies whether your feelings are good or bad!  I've known so many people who are legitimately terrified of ever feeling happy - not because they enjoy being miserable, but because the eventual inevitable descent from happiness to unhappiness is more uncomfortable for them than just staying unhappy all the time.  Affirmations are about affirming how you feel, not about hiding from it.  They are pathways to action, and a roadmap to helpful mindsets regardless of whether you're deep in the valley or on top of the mountain.

I'm doing my best to avoid those useless, sappy affirmations.  There are obviously some limitations to a tarot blog; everyone's situation is different and ever-changing, so the Ace of Wands might say something completely different to you today than it did two weeks ago, and I can't really account for that.  But the goal is always to leave you, the reader, with some agency.  One of today's cards is the Magician, which represents willpower, desire, and manifestation.  An easy affirmation would be "The world shapes itself to my desires," but that's toxic positivity, because the world obviously doesn't do that.  The agency is within you: "I carry the power to shape the world around me to suit my needs, if I summon the will to use it."

That's affirming, because it acknowledges that the power is inside of you, but it also leaves you with the responsibility of exercising that power.  A useful affirmation is a direction that you can give yourself for how to move forward.  The practice of tarot, affirmations, and indeed, of spirituality in general can be soothing in troubled times.  There is comfort in it, which is one reason why people turn to it.  But it's not helping you if it soothes you into a passive state of optimistic apathy.  You still have to be the one to travel the path and find your way.  Spirituality provides the trail markers, but it's up to you to read them, to interpret them, and, most importantly, to take the steps along the path they blaze for you. It's not the safe harbor - it's the lighthouse.  Don't give up the ship.

Blessed be.